Reminder- I don't have to be nice to you.

You know how when you are young, you have to be nice to your elders because your parents make you? Well f*ck that when you have grown up.

Tonight I went to my mom's house to say good bye to a friend of my sister's who is going away to be a missionary in a remote jungle place that I won't mention here. I am not kidding, to convert the natives. Christianity is just so repetitive, you know?

In any case, after said person left in after I had been there five minutes(!), her mother, who was there apparently waiting to see her too, said to me (note- I last saw her when I was in high school) "Wow, you are a good mother. I wouldn't have guessed that."

Ok, so I didn't say anything. But now that I've had a couple hours to think of some witty replies (thanks, internet) here you go:

"I wouldn't have guessed you'd get so fat"

"Wow, I didn't know you were such a c*nt"

Ok, so they aren't so witty. I didn't even hit her, although that did cross my mind. I just thought people who loved jebus were supposed to be nice.

Oh, right.
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Never mind.

Also, I dreamt that my lovely grandmother who died a few years ago died again. So I had to go through her second funeral and it made me think of how much I still miss her all the time and how I miss that crackly sound of her smoker laugh and I actually woke myself up crying from the dream. I should have known that was an omen to stay home.

Before I go, the dream about my grandmother made me remember a line from the movie "American Beauty"- something about the "way my grandmother's hands felt like paper"....