Linkedy-Link-Link

I heart you, FInslippy.

Oh, yes.

R is getting Her Royal Peanutness ready for bed, so this is a short post at best. I have to try and actually take a couple of pictures tomorrow- she's got 6! teeth in her mouth. It's all kinds o' crazy. We like to dance now! (Kinda). We like to pretend to share cheerios. We like to squeal! Craziness abounds, I tell ya.

Snot, snot, snot, and oh, some rain, too.

Peanut has a serious cold. Avec cough. She keeps shooting us with booger rockets. EWWWW. Being a mom is so stinking gross sometimes. Since she has such a terrible cold, she is having trouble sleeping in her bed. Last night I got about three hours sleep in 20-30 minute intervals. She slept best on top of me, in the best rocking chair in the world.

I've been reading through some of the blogs that were nominated for Bloggies. I think I have some new blogs to read. Oh, and I think that I need a new header thingy. Mine seems so... generic. So add that to the to-do list.

We made soup tonight. A veggie chicken soup, with loverly carrots, rutabagas, celery, onions, parsnips and even a tiny bit of chicken. I also made white cupcakes, although I didn't get to make frosting, since we didn't have any confectioner's sugar.

....

Woohoo! Friday Night!! Party!

Or not. Perhaps, instead, I am perusing blogs, attempting to find interesting new people to read. Blogs are about all the reading i have time for, lately. Although I did indulge in a newish Dick Francis novel, "Dead Heat". Oh, and a copy of the latest "Parents" magazine, and "Wondertime", another parenting magazine. I don't know why I buy those. I always think it is just something I should read, since I am a mom now, but gosh. I am not going to cut out hearts from Peanut's marshmalllows. It is just not going to happen.

Well, Peanut is huffing in her room with a stuffy nose and her penguin humidifier, so I had better attempt to get a little sleep, too. My hands are killing me and the internet keeps tricking me into staying up late.

Blargh.

Night-night.

Blargh.

Butch is Moonlighting....

Butch, our chubby Siamese cat, appears to be moonlighting as someone else's cat.

Jesus Don't Want Me For a Sunbeam

So I am an atheist. And a liberal. And a mom. And a feminist. And MARRIED. (Cue the maniacal mad scientist laughter).

There's some stuff I just don't get. If you do believe in some sort of god-figure... how can you be a Republican? Aren't you supposed to be kind to poor people so you please ol' masser god?

I figure that you get this one chance. You can choose to be kind and make the world better and nicer and more shiny and wonderful, taking the time to appreciate the people you love. Or you can choose to run Haliburton and shoot people in the face and invade countries and generally be a Dick. Even if you believe there's some kind of post-death reward system, what kind of reward do you get for that kind of life? (Besides, living one's life for a kind of cosmic equivalent of an elementary school magazine fundraising program, where you only have to sell 12,000 subscriptions to get a pencil case? Um, I don't think so).

A little side note- why hasn't there been a band that just since Nirvana that just shook the teeth right out of my head? I haven't heard anything so wild and unconstrained and raw and true since them. Every band I hear seems so polished and shiny.

As I grow older, the world seems so staid and tidy and nice. I mean that in the worst possible way.

John Edwards Needs You!

R and I have been discussing the Democratic cast of possibilities today.

We're annoyed.

I want to first state that I am incredibly proud that we have both a woman and an African American as potential nominees. Super. BUT. John Edwards would be the best president. I almost feel a little guilty wanting the white dude, you know? Before I knew he was going to run again, I was fantasizing about an Oprah/Obama ticket. Women of the United States rise up!

But poor, mistreated, ignored John Edwards. He gets accused of being a rich lawyer. Well, ok. Let's look at that a little bit. When was the last time a middle class person ran for president and won? Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, rich people run our country. Us poor people? We're busy doing things like working our asses off to get some money for, um food? And medical insurance, since we're one of the few industrialized countries without national healthcare? (We are lazy bastards, we poor folk. If only we would work harder and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, huh?)

So John Edwards, rich lawyer. Rich lawyer that got rich helping poor people. Oh, yeah, you read that right. He got rich HELPING OTHER PEOPLE. I just want to make sure that is clear. He made his money HELPING OTHER PEOPLE. You're probably thinking, what a commie, right? But I ask that you wait a second more- he made his money HELPING OTHER PEOPLE fight evil corporations that were taking advantage of poor people. I know that you're thinking, why would we want a president that CARES ABOUT PEOPLE?

So America- pay attention here- shut up and listen to John Edwards for a minute. You too, NPR- I have had just about enough of your snarky little comments after every Edwards' quote.

We are, despite our probable recession, a quite wealthy nation full of incredibly poor people who are purposefully kept poor by our nation's rich elite. Oh yes, America, the "man" is keeping you down. And John Edwards wants to change that.

Sleep Battles....

Today Peanut only took one nap from 11 am to 1 pm. She didn't sleep AT ALL until about 17 minutes ago. Tonight ought to be fun. When she's tired we have the crying, flailing, grunting and pushing wars. The only way we can convince her to actually go to sleep when she's like this is to wear her down with allowing her to cry. It is mentally and physically exhausting. I don't know how this will work when she's five and doesn't want to go to bed. I am so tired.

We went down to Second Street today to have lunch at Angelo's Italian Deli. It was ok. I think my salami experience has officially been ruined for salami that is just "ok". When we were in Seattle last Memorial Day, we found a grocery store ( Metropolitan Market that sold salami from Salumi. It was soooo good. You can buy it online through their website, although it appears that they are sold out until the end of January.

We walked around and window shopped a bit. I got Pinkberry. Wow, that was a pile of suck. The yogurt was good, but it took about 20 minutes to get the one cup. There was about 40 people crammed into a store that was built to hold maybe 20. With no air conditioning. And all of two employees. Way to go Pinkberry! I will so not be back!

I can't believe it is already time to go back to work. It all begins again.

Ok, So I Love Tina Fey...

So I was watching "30 Rock" last night and there was a very funny bit about Tina Fey's character, Liz Lemon being an exchange student.... Check it out. (The video quality blows, but whatever).



Wow, it is so fun to watch someone play a real dork on tv. (This coming from a COMPLETE dork. Make that a clumsy, computer nerd, glasses-wearing dork).

That joke in the clip just kept making me giggle all day long. "30 Rock" was a nice surprise for us this year, since we HATED the first couple of episodes. I mean, I love Tina Fey (we should totally hang out and um, do stuff), but the first two episodes featured bad acting and rather stilted writing. I suspect now, having seen more episodes, that it was just the fact of the series finding its feet- perhaps also finding the characters as they were written, too. So, thanks for keeping it on, NBC. Way to go. Seriously.

And Tina, if you read this? I listen to NPR and I too dress like a small town, liberal arts college lesbian. See, we could totally hang out.

Signs That Give One Pause... Or, On A Lighter Note

"Marge & Gina's Live Hair Shop"

Um, ok. "Live"? I get that it means not wigs, right?

"Scissor Hands"

This one was just confusing until I saw inside and determined it was a salon. Although still sort of creepy.

balance...

I need to remember this: you will not give yourself the chance to write something good if you don't write anything.

I have a story that I'm working on. Extremely slowly. I can write on my lunch and for a few minutes after Peanut goes to bed (like right now). That is, if I'm not completely bushed. Which is usually the case.

I am trying very hard to hear the characters whispering to me as my own self-doubt works overtime trying to shout them down. So I need to remember that all I can do it try to write. To let myself write.

I have been really thinking a lot lately of balance. Remembering long ago when I took gymnastics classes. Specifically, the balance beam. Four inches across. You learn at first just to walk across, Then you progress to walking and bending your knee so the foot not touching the beam dips below the surface of the beam, alternating as you walk, up and down, up and down. You grow slowly familiar. For the girls that got good at the balance beam, that four inches could seem like a lot more. Because really, you don't need more than that four inches to stand or jump or cartwheel or whatever. It's possible. Your mind just tells you that you need more. You just think you do.

The best balance beam couching I ever got was to imagine, as you stand on the beam, that you are being suspended from an invisible string that is attached to the top of your head. You can imagine that invisible string pulling you up so your head is lifted, your chest is held out and you cannot possibly wobble because of that connection, that balance you are maintaining.

I feel like my life is like that now, sometimes, except that on my grownup version of the balance beam I hold a number of fragile eggs in my hands. I hold R and the small universe that is our marriage, I hold Peanut and my responsibilities and commitments to her in my role as her mother and I hold my job and I hold our home and somewhere in this daily struggle, that fight I fight everyday to find that elusive balance? I hold the thing that is simply me.

Wine and a Mild Concussion...

So, I have to check WebMD. Do wine and concussions go well together? Like, say beer and chips?

Um. So I whacked my heat something fierce on the Peanut crib (R calls it Peanut Prison) while reaching down to pull out an errant sock from below it. OWWW! I blacked out a little and started crying. Yeah, Peanut fell down tonight and bonked her head and just kept playing. Mum does and just wails for a few minutes. Hmmm. Hopefully my brain won't leak out my ears when I go to bed.

I am quite pleased that Blogger has the autosave feature now. Safari just quit for about the four hundred thousandth time. I even installed the recent updates. Ack Ack Ack. Oh, Apple, you tease. You promise and seduce me with your gorgeousness and usability and then you stop calling me and stop providing timely patches and updates. I see how it is. You get all popular and suddenly you're out with the iPhone.

Rain, Rain...

Went away on its own. We're still here. We battened down the hatches and we're still here. It howled and blew and poured last night, but we're still here.

I went to breakfast with PA this morning, to the Starling Diner, over on Third St. I had the Broiled San Francisco Stuffed Toast. According to the menu:

"Have you ever tried French toast stuffed with creamy Mascarpone and Crème Fraiche? We love it. It’s French Toast like you’ve never had it before. Not only is it beautiful to view but your stomach will click its heels with glee. We broil instead of frying it-which gives the flavor a deeper dimension. You have your choice of custom tailored toppings:
Fresh Seasonal Berries and Whipped Cream or Caramelized Apples in Brandy Butter" YUMMMM! I was in a sugar induced haze while we walked back to my house and I showed her how to update her blog. So we'll see what happens there.

In the afternoon, we went over to Pioneer and shopped at the Farm Fresh market in Little India. They're at: 18551 Pioneer Blvd., Artesia, CA; 562-865-3191. No website, but a good selection of produce, spices, frozen Indian foods and some British items, like McVities digestives and Tango soda. Yeah. Good stuff.

We continued our world wide trip by visiting the Holland America Import Store in Bellflower located at 10343 Artesia Blvd, Bellflower, CA 90706, 562) 867-7589. I bought some Dutch goodies for my mom's birthday- stroopenwaffles, black licorice and a bag of Radenmaker Hopjes. (I may have purchased a bag for myself, too). I also got a yummy item I last had when I was about 8 years old- De Ruijter toast sprinkles! I can't wait to have toast!

Peanut was up almost all day, with only a couple of very short naps. This is going to be awesome. She's been asleep since 9, so she'll be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Argh. But I will have toast sprinkles! Yay!

R is making Chicken Tikka Masala in the kitchen and begging me to turn off the heater. I guess. I've been parked in front of the wall heater for a couple days now.

Well, my hands are aching, so I'll sign off for now. I will be making a better attempt to update here a little more often than once a month this year, so we'll see.

Happy New Year and Stuff

So that's nice. Oh, is it 2008? Ah. Well, you see... yours truly conked out just before midnight while feeding the baby. R woke me up and midnight and I drug myself off to bed. My normal sleep schedule is bed at 11, wake with the baby at 12:30, sleep, wake with the baby at 3, sleep, wake up for work and feed the baby at 5. So midnight was a little too late for me. Although we slept until 8! AM! on New Year's Day. HOORAY!!!

Peanut is into EVERYTHING now. So I spent New Year's Day trying to make our house just a little more childfriendly. There aren't Elmo posters on the wall, but I swept up most of the broken hypodermics and rat droppings. Our living room has basically devolved into the play room anyhow, but we managed to rearrange so R has somewhere to keep his computer other than the couch. Peanut enjoys smacking expensive electronics, vomitting on stuff, and eating leftover pine needles from the Christmas tree. Oh, and chasing kitties. (They LOVE that, by the way, and have developed these incredibly sad meows that seem to say, "But WHY mom, WHY? What did I do to deserve this!"- to which the reply is "Years of cleaning cat yarck off of EVERYTHING" But anyway....)

So I don't really have any major resolutions. I'm going to take one class online this semester to see how I manage. I'm also going to try to write more. Maybe next year I'll try to send stuff out again. I haven't been feeling super confident about writing lately. I have been thinking about a story recently though.

I want to just, I don't know, try harder this year. So we'll just see, I guess.

Flight of The Conchords..

Thanks....

for the car accident. So, R got rear-ended (I don't know if that is really a hyphen, but I am oh-so-tired) and we are getting up the courage to face our families for the annual family time. Oh joyous day. I think there are about 20 people due at my mom's. Blarghedy-blargh. Ack.

So, R is ok, and he was driving our old car, so no harm no foul. But he did tell off the lady, yelling that "I don't know what I would do to you if my daughter was in the car!" Awwww, it's so cute to see him be so overly protective of Peanut. I mean, she was about 11 miles away at the time. So, yeah....

We went to the LA Zoo a couple weeks ago.
It was pretty fun.

Peanut is a little rock star.

She loves her new Fisher Price toy.

She is growing sooo fast. It's just amazing...

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us!

Oh yum....

I made dinner, for once. The Barefoot Contessa's Lemon Chicken with Croutons, so yummy... And I even made her Vegetable Tian.

Anyhow, the time change is kicking my butt, so I really need to go to bed.

I really meant to write a little something about how cool it is that Peanut is growing up. And how I feel sad that she's really not going to stay small forever (someday she will actually drive! And stuff! Ack!). I will write again soon, and post a pic or two of her as Princess Leia for Halloween. I mean, Peanut Leia. R keeps calling her hardcore Peanut- P*NuT.

There was a kitty-cat related crash from the bedroom. Gotta run.

Acres of Books Is Under Attack

Acres of Books, that Long Beach landmark, is under attack by the City of Long Beach, which seeks to tear it down and redevelop that block. You can sign petitions here.

You can read more about it at The District, the newish LBC weekly paper.

F*ck redevelopment. That's bullshit.

Long live Acres of Books.

If Love is A Red Dress...

Why does it have to be so hard...and the world is on fire.

So, we have a new car seat. Peanut is a happy kid now; she has room to stretch and squirm happily. She used to cry EVERY time she was placed in her car seat. Now she cooes and makes happy raspberries. So, I hope the ridiculously expensive seat is really worth it, but so far it seems as if it is so.

I promised in my last post to discuss the child care debacle, so here goes. We interviewed for day care in July, because I had to go back to work in August. We met with the woman, I'll call her Ms. D___. She seemed mellow and nice. She'd been licensed for over 10 years and she seemed to really care about the kids. There was an unstructured feeling at her home, which we liked, since we wanted to have Peanut in a place that felt like a home, not an institution.

Then it began to go wrong.

Ms. D___ took Peanut with her to get fast food. She'd never mentioned taking our daughter anywhere in a car. She acted as if we were crazy for being unhappy about this.

Ms. D___ had people dropping in and out of her house all the time.

Ms. D___ put Peanut to sleep in a small pack-n-play on a pillow- on her tummy. That's how SIDS happens- at least it becomes more likely. When mentioned by us, she acted as if we were being silly and overprotective.

Finally, Ms. D___ gave me papers to tell me that the State of California had found her liable in being negligent in a child breaking his leg at her home while in her care. She then tried to cast aspersions on the child's mother, as if bad parenting caused the accident, somehow. The same papers stated that there were allegations that people were drinking at her house while children were in her care.

So we took Peanut out. We scrambled to find care for her. My sister, my step mother, friends, flexible scheduling at work... We managed to juggle it all for two weeks.

We finally ended up with two interviews. A chain of childcare providers that I'll call "KinderScare" and Mrs. H___, a grandma that takes care of a friend's child.

"KinderScare" was AWFUL. I've never been to a Romanian orphanage, but that is close to what I pictured. A three month old baby lay on the LINOLEUM floor crying while a staffer stood over her, chatting with another staffer. My husband said in the car that he was getting so stressed out that he nearly picked up that baby. Peanut didn't smile the entire time we were there. Neither of us could picture leaving her there- I'm sure that it is generally a safe place, but so completely clinical that I couldn't imagine it not impacting Peanut's social development. I would quit my job before leaving her in a place like that.

Then there was Mrs. H___. She wanted to cuddle Peanut right away. She had pictures of her grandchildren all over. She has a big backyard and a sweet chocolate lab. Her grandaughter and my friend's child were playing happily in the backyard with the dog keeping a watchful eye on them. It seemed just right.

And now we have Mrs. H___, who is a kind grandmother who has watched a friend's two children since their infancy. She always wants a last hug with Peanut everyday. And Peanut smiles at her in the way that she smiles at all of her grandmas. So all is well once more in Peanut-ville.

Except the part about half of Southern California being in flames. My throat is raw from all the smoke- and I was inside all day, except for when I was walking from buildings into my car. Our house smells like burning. We are miles from the fires, but the Santiago Canyon fire looked like hell when I drove south to work this morning. I was driving along, towards the bank of smoke obliterating the sunrise this morning and I just thought, why am I driving TOWARDS it? It is just such a nonsense thing to do, don't you think? You're supposed to flee, or something.... Right?

28 and a Quarter...

Inches long. M was 21 and a half inches long when she was born. So she has grown almost 7 inches in 6 months. She's tall for her age.

The fun part? Now we need a new car seat. Because hers is for babies up to 29 inches long. Yep, I thought we'd get to keep it for a year, but I was wrong.

So, a new car seat. I think I want this one:
The Britax Marathon Car Seat. Ok, so it is very expensive. But it should last us through a couple of kids and until about 65 lbs worth of kid. And I do have a coupon. And it's on sale. And....

And it is pretty cute.

It does cost a little more than half what my first car did, though. I could buy her a little more than half a 1981 VW Rabbit of her own for the price of this seat. Weird, huh?

Anyhow, we've been dealing with the aftermath of our flaky childcare lady and the resulting State of California investigation (which I will blog about soon, as it is so much trauma and drama), and now we finally have a replacement that was recommended to us by a friend and that costs HALF what the flaky lady did. So yay, we can swing the expensive seat.

And I am reading an excellent book (on my breaks at work- who knew that would be the only time I EVER have to read anymore?)- John Irving's "A Prayer For Owen Meany". I'm not through yet (at this rate I should be done around M's birthday).

I have also decided that I am just going to call M what we call her at home: Peanut. I am aware it is about the least original nickname, but I have never been a nickname gal. She's just our little Peanut, though.

Oh yes, friends who have e-mailed me- I will be writing you back this weekend- I promise! I will do it even if I have to sacrifice blankly staring at the wall while the baby naps!